LO4- Improved Script

In this post I will be showing all the corrections I have made for the script from the feedback that was given to me by the writers group. For example I have included more locations I have also made sure that the script has music in and out all the time. The ending of my script has changed as the team all line up and bow toward the front of the hall. Instead of shots of the team traveling home.
In yellow is where I have changed the script.

For the script I have completly changed the ending due to the script before not having a proper ending this is so the target audience can have a resolution to the ending. different changes improve the way the director may read the scripts as some of the positioning of the writing was incorrect.I had to move dialoque to the middle of the page and display where a lot of the cuts and voice overs are.The various camera angles on the left have been imoproved to the reader of the script will understand the camra angles used.

LO4- 5 Probing Questions

Do you understand what my documentary is about by the way my script is set out?

Am I aiming for the correct mode of address and what’s your opinion?

Looking at the script would you say that I am having interviews in the correct times and could I add more or make them shorter?

Does the script suit the purpose of a documentary?

What could I improve to make the script better?

LO4-Evidence of gaining feedback

Me sending the 5 probing question for the feedback on the script.

I have had an interview with the writers group about my script and how I could improve the script this audio is what they had to say about my script and the images are evidence that the interview happened.

These are the notes I wrote down when I had the meeting with the writers group.

In this interview I received all the information I needed to make the script better and make it more interesting. Also the interview gave me an idea on how I might improve the script and add more features in the script.


Photo of the interview

LO4- Production Plan

LO3- Production Scheduale

LO3- Script

This is the first script I have made and includes all the dialogue for my documentary but with the feedback I will make sure I improve the script.

This script was my first draft and the format was very bad so I improved it to make it look more like a script. The one below is the one with the format.

This is the improved script and now I will ask the writer group for feedback.

LO2- Storyboards